Linus Soh

It’s a strange comfort and peace that is over me today that I cannot describe. It feels like the day is going to be okay, that I’m going to make out alive. It’s this feeling that makes me wonder what God has planned for a loser like me.

It’s a strange peace. I have some big decisions to make this week and it just feels like that I don’t need to worry about them…it’s not that I don’t care because I do…It’s just I don’t need to worry about them. Somehow, somehow, it’s all going to work out…

I will not be silent; I will not be quiet anymore.

When he woke
up from his sudden nap,
a familiar form was
before him

But graceful, tame,
and beautiful she was
reflecting another side
of his maker.

She was created
for him, from him
taken from his side
to be reunited.

They were both
naked, unashamed
living in a paradise
created just for them.

Knowledge they sought
shameful they felt
everything they lost
eternal separation they gained.

Banished from Zion,
forced to work
the barren ground
that once had potential.

True freedom was
the price paid,
pain and suffering
was now life’s measure.

It was a bitter-
sweet end for her children
for out of
selfishness came despair.

Now the maker could
never be
reunited
until his glory comes again.

I’m so frustrated with my major. I’m doing my own individual studies major but it seems like I’m being blocked at every avenue. And I’m not sure if this is God stopping me or Satan trying to prevent me. I look at my desire and this is something that I’ve wanted for so long.

Then I realized that I should ask God to give me his will for this. What is your will Father? What is your desire in this situation? I feel like you don’t want me to take this road. If this is not your will, if this is not your desire, if this not what you have for me and what you have for me is better than what I can imagine with my desire, I ask you, I pleed that you give me your will. Instill your will in my heart. Give me the disernment to know that it is you that wants me to go somewhere else. Give me the light to show your heart. Give me the desire do your will.

I’m on fire when you’re near me…

“When everything inside me
Looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take…”

“I dare you to move
I dare you to life yourself off of the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before…”

“I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
where I don’t belong.”

We were meant for bigger things…it’s so obvious. Why else would man build a boat and dare to prove that the world is round? Why else would we achieve the unachievable and build a rocket to go to the moon? Why else would men and women risk their lives to fight for freedom?

We live for this world but somehow come back empty handed. We obtain possessions, thinking we can somehow “own” the world, control it, but we fail miserably. We look for empty satisfactions, immediate gratifications, only to come back to the place we started and see that we have less than what we have started.

We truely have lost ourselves.

Spoken.

Spring break! It was fricken awesome! You can check out my web site for more pics.

Other than an awesome time, I got some time by myself to really think about where I am in life. I’m ready for more…at least I think I am. I want more than I can handle. I’m ready to fight.

One of the big things that I got was that I where I need to be. I came back confident. I felt like God was telling me, “This is it. This is where your adventure is.”

I can be excited by that.

Something about the ocean…