linuslive.com

I went home this weekend to spend some quality time with the fam. Having spent most of spring break in Myrtle Beach, I thought I should take some more down time to be with my parents…and I’m glad I went.

I’ve really been enjoying the spiritual discussions that I’ve been having with my mom. It’s really cool to see what God has been doing in her life recently. Of course, we got into the conversation of me getting married and whatnot and I had to reminder her that I’m just waiting for God to introduce me to the right woman.

Mom responded in kind: “I pray for her you know.”
Me: “Yeah, I know.”
Mom: “No, I don’t think you do. I pray that God will provide you with a women who is as passionate about ministry as you are. I pray that God will move in her heart as he has in you. I pray that she will be the helper that God promised Adam.”
Me: “Mom, I’m quite content being single right now…”
Mom: “Yeah, I know. But I’m sure God will break you, sooner or later.”
Me: “Mom, I love you. You’re not getting grand kids in a while so you’ll have to wait.”

She really made me think. Does my future wife dream of me the way I dream of her? These past couple of nights, I’ve had these dreams about what my ministry will be like if I had a girlfriend, or a fiance, or wife. I was telling people over spring break that I want a woman who considers others above herself. I would hope that while we’re dating, this would even extend to me.

I believe God brings two people together because they can accomplish more together than they could do apart. I believe this is what the church is. A church can do more than it’s individual members. A house of Christians can do MORE than it’s individual roommates.

A husband and wife can do more than each other separately.

I dream of my wife. I dream of the day that I’ll meet her. I dream of the day that we discover that God has on the same path. I dream of the moment that I realize that this is the woman he has in mind for me.

And I dream of the day that we do ministry together, as husband and wife.

Until then, I will continue to do what God has me do: serve the church. This is my mission field. This is my cross.

Dreams within the still of night
On wings of hope take flight inside of me
There, upon some distant shore
We want for nothing more than what will be
And you and I, here we are
I wonder as we come this far…

If I could only read your mind
Tell me the answer I would find
Do you dream of me?

Love has found a magic space
A deep and hidden place where time stands still
Now I hold you in my arms
You know you hold my heart and always will
And you and I, here we are
And it’s a wonder that we’ve come this far

After all that we’ve been through
You’ve leaned on me, I’ve leaned on you
Do you dream of me?
And when you’re smiling in your sleep
Beyond the promises we keep
Do you dream of me?

If I could only read your mind
Tell me the answer I would find
Do you dream of me?
And when you’re smiling in your sleep
Beyond the promises we keep
Do you dream of me?
And after all we’ve been through
You’ve leaned on me, I’ve leaned on you
Do you dream of me?

Do you dream of me?

While I don’t believe God has provided me with this woman yet, I continue to live the single life, trying to understand both men and women and the decisions they make. I was praying about someone the other day and I had to ask myself “What causes us to make decisions?”

I know for me, I make decisions out of my vulnerabilities, weaknesses, hurts and pains. I am beginning to wonder if my decision not to date is because of these things. Don’t get me wrong, I think not dating for close to four years have really given me a perspective on my habits and things…but I wonder if I’m motivated by the spirit or if I’m motivated by my own doubts and insecurities.

God, I want your will, not mine. Help me live in a way that reflects that. Lord, I want to be attracted to women who want the same things I do. Help me see that fruit. And Jesus, take away the feelings that I have for others who don’t want that. And permit me to see the difference.