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I’m starting to get really nervous about this concert. I’m suppose to be giving my testimony and I haven’t had a lot of time to rehearse it. I’m hoping to do this today…But still, I feel very anxious about the whole thing. My prayer has been that I can speak with boldness. And I think I can. I just hope that my story reaches the hearts of the people.

One thing that has really been bringing me down is just the onslaught of things I need to do. Concert, two exams, three papers, work, fund raising…

I just feel so tired…and so withdrawn.

I’ve really been wrestling with something really big recently. It hit me during peer group this past Tuesday. How do I want to be served?

A few of the guys want to throw me a birthday party and I’m not too excited about the idea. I’ve given them permission to do it, with some guidelines. But still, I am very uneasy about it. I don’t want my past experiences to taint what my friends want to do for me…and this is where I started to wonder:

I’ve wrestled with how do I want to be served. And then there are people who have the heart to serve me, but it’s not what I need or sometimes not what I want. How do I equate the two in my mind so that I could be excited about their heart, and not by what they did? Because I think this is the heart that Christ would want me to have. I believe that is the heart that Christ has for me…

“See my glory…”

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours I pray
To be only yours
I know now your my only hope…

Another rainy day
I can’t recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can’t move
When I don’t know what I should do
When I wonder if I’ll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising YOUR NAME
You’re the one that keeps my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That’s the only way that I’ll find healing

Can I climb up in YOUR lap?
I don’t wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me

I gotta keep singing…

You’re everything I need…
And I gotta keep singing…