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I finally got the confirmation that GCM has hired me on staff! The question is my position.

Right now, I’ve only raised about $500 a month. I need to multiply that number by 6 in order to be able to run full-time! That’s quite a hurtle.

I’m concerned as to how quickly I make this jump…

I remember two years ago when I made my commitment to do an internship with MCF. I remember feeling so inadequate…Out of so many more qualified people, I kept asking God, “Why me?” Then, God told me, “Just wait and see.” And I began to realize that God had me on a path all my life…and it was only beginning to start now.

That sounds confusing, doesn’t it?! I bet it does.

I’m so excited about where I’m going from here. But I have to admit, it’s very hard. These past couple of weeks, Jeff has been repeating a verse to me so I finally decided to go look it up.

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.”
–Ecclesiastes

The point of this verse is to explain a truth to those who seek wisdom. The more I’ve learned in my walk with God, the more I’ve noticed the injustice around me. The more that I’ve gained in my wisdom, the more I’ve become depressed when I people don’t follow it. The more I’ve gained in my knowledge, the more pain I see around me.

When I see a very physical couple in the dining hall all over each other, it just pains me because chances are, they aren’t going to marry. And they will have to make that account with God and their future spouse.

When I see a young woman picking up a pregnancy test at the drug store, I become so sad that because of the fear that I see in her eyes.

When I see people made decisions based on their vulnerabilities and weaknesses instead of wisdom, I want to scream because their reasoning is flawed.

There is a story that someone told me a while back:

Sir Isaac Newton was working on the complex equations of calculus and trying to figure out the complexities of gravity and what have you. It was getting pretty late and he had just completed just hours and hours worth of work and study. So he decided to get something to eat and so he leaves the room. Not to far behind him was his dog Diamond. As Diamond got up from under the table, he unknowingly knocked over a table candle, setting fire to all of the work that Newton had just completed. Smelling the smoke, Newton rushed back into the room and saw his desk was in flames. Quickly trying to put the fire out, he stomped on the papers and doused them all with water. Newton list 20 years worth of research. Newton looked over at his dog and said to him, “You will never understand what you have done.”

Newton knew. But his dog didn’t.

To be naive…I’ve found myself recently wishing that I didn’t know all the things I know. Someone quickly asked me, “Mike, are you sure that’s what you really want?” The truth is that I didn’t. Ignorance is sometimes really bliss. But sometimes, ignorance is a chain that forces you to stay within a box. I realize that it is better to not have the chain and be grieved over these things than it is to be ignorant of them.

“Do not conform any longer to the patter of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

“See MY GLORY!”