The vastness of God
These past couple of weeks have been really encouraging because I’ve been able to see the hearts of God’s people. I’m remembering a passage in Wild at Heart where John Eldredge suggests that men and women both have unique characteristics of God, and each one shows different glimmers. In men, God’s nobility and strength is shown. And in women, his grace and uniqueness.
I’ve seen this before but I’m enjoying this gentle reminder that God made us all so unique but yet so similar to his image. I was listening on the radio this morning about the different roles of men and women and how we can get so caught up in doing something that we think that something makes us more spiritual before God. But that’s not the case! Being a leader doesn’t make you more “spiritual”. Neither does being a pastor. But God created both men and women to have specific roles in the church…and those role reflect how he created us.
I think I can get wrapped up in this too much. I wonder how to answer the question, “What does God say about women leaders?” I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to answer this question. My understanding has been that God created men and women to be uniquely different. The bible gives many examples of men leaders but very few women leaders. I don’t think God has anything against women in leadership but it seems like the question is why? Why are women not mentioned often as being leaders.
(Now, I should admit that there is MUCH controversy on this issue…none of which I’m going to unpack here.)
I think this is purely to do with how God has wired us. It seems that the typical guy has been wired to think rationally, able to make quick right decisions under pressure, and be able to look beyond the decision and into the future. I’m not saying women can’t do this. I’m sure there are women who can do this better than some men. But it seems like women, too, have a unique wiring.
Women tend to be more caring, and therefore more compassionate. They are more graceful and more forgiving. They tend to be slow to anger and far more understanding. There is a part of this I wish I had. And I think this is why women are called to support men. Women are able to point things out to guys in ways they may not see. But guys have the wiring to make those decision happen.
I hate it when people say that things should be 50-50. I don’t think that’s fair. It should be 100-100. I give to women everything I can. I hope women would do the same. And it is my job not to take advantage of my leadership…and it’s the woman’s job to have faith that I won’t.
Deep issues, huh? God, I don’t get you sometimes…but I think that’s what makes you awesome.
Amen.
Hehe from your description I should get a sex change operation. I know no one as quick to anger as myself, and I have lost more than one friend because I could not summon compassion for their woes, no matter how hard I tried. To me the Universe is a mathematical reality, with not much to do with feelings and graciousness. I think this life is far from gracious, and I have a tendancy to treat it, and everyone, the way life treats me, like a chew toy. A lot of these things are things I’m working on, with anger management, etc, but it begs the question, if I were male, would all these professionals think I needed as much “working on” to develop patience and empathy. Maybe the “anger management” and “empathy counseling” is just gender assignment therapy? Maybe I’m alright the way I am?
I don’t think my thoughts should be read as scientific fact! I am, by no means, a scientist or a psychologist.
With that being said, I know some women who don’t “match up” to the specific ideals of women. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I do think, though, we all (both male and female) must learn how to control our anger and be able to give grace, even when the world doesn’t. Paul said to the church in Corinth that Love is slow to anger and celebrates the truth. James cautions the church to control the tongue for it is the gate to the heart.
I don’t know you as well as I would like. And because of that, I can’t say whether you need “anger management.” But I can say that I think all of us could use some introspective therapy. I’m constantly shocked by the number of people who are just simply ignorant of their own problems and instead blame others instead of seeking themselves.
It is much easer to blame someone else than to ask yourself, “Why am I reacting this way? What is it that I’m believing about this situation that makes me feel this way?” And then to really deal with the stuff that comes out of that.
Food for thought.
Whereas my propensity is actually towards self-blame. I found counselling very counter-productive, because I tend to blame everything that goes wrong in the world on myself, and then cunseling was like having someone validate those fears by telling me how not to make everything go wrong. In fact, I am currently trying to foster my anger towards others, because too often it’s violent anger towards myself, and it’s less destructive to me to be angry at someone else. My self-anger was starting to paralyze me, but my anger at others harms others, but only briefly, for the time they are with me. And most of my good friends have learned to recognize this as self-anger directed in an outward direction. It may sound harsh, but it was this, or commit suicide, so I’m happy with the outcome. Now, how not to feel anger at all? I think that’s impossible. Everything I see every day makes me angry, because there is so much ignorance and injustice in the world. I’ll stop feeling anger when the world stops hurting people.
I don’t think anger is ever suppose to go away.
I’m sorry that you’ve been wrestling with these powerful emotions. It can’t be easy. It seems like you’re seeing this world in a different way.
I know for me, I had to realize that anger is a secondary emotion. It is envoked by something.
I don’t think God ever says do not be angry. God is CLEARLY angry with many people throughout the Bible. I think, though, being able to control that anger is the key. Like, I know I can be angry with someone, but be able to respond is complete peace. Now, do I feel peace in my heart? Absolutely not. But to respond to that person with the respect and love they deserve is no easy task.
I think the only reason I’m able to respond the way I do is because of the fact that I realize that my emotions will eventually disapate. They are temporary and will eventually go away…and I tend to over-react anyway which makes things even worse.
But controlling my tongue became something that I sought God for…relying on his spirit to tame mine.
I can offer no quick solution. It wasn’t easy. But with one successful conversation, you know it’s possible.
Sometimes, it’s also about knowing the skills.