I want to believe
I want to believe God is bigger than me. That he is in control, that he has it together.
Because I sure don’t.
I don’t have any control.
I don’t know where to go from here, and it’s hard to say where I’m even at.
But I want to believe that God can bless far more than Satan can harm. I want to believe that God is sovereign. I want to believe that God is near…that God is here.
I want to believe outside of my 15-minutes of faith.
When the world does not make sense to me, it does to God.
Where the lost find hope. Where the lonely find a listening ear.
Where the God is realized for who he really is.
I want to believe.
Categories: livejournal archive
Belief is automatic; the harder you try to force yourself, the more disillusioned you will become. But it seems like you already do believe.
Don’t beat yourself up over fear and doubt. They are natural reactions to life. And God does not discriminate against those who do not believe in Him, let alone those who don’t have ‘enough faith’.
But know that He is there, and that nothing escapes his notice. Let go of your need to control; unnatainable desires will only make it harder for you to understand.
Serene
I don’t think this to be true. While God does not discriminate who is told of his good news, he gives every person the free will to choose him or to reject him. Belief, therefore, cannot be automatic and must only be chosen.
Belief is a consequence of faith.
Fear and doubt are inhearent in the course of life, both for Christians and non-Christians. However, it is what one does with those fears and doubts that show the kind of person he is.
Paul wrote to the apostle John, “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us.”
God’s love has not been perfected in me. And I think that’s okay. But my prayer and hope is that somehow, through the process of support raising, living life, watching people come and go, the doubts and fears that I still have are washed away and replaced with love.
In Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster writes that we must not only be emptied of evil, but also filled with good. I think that to be the case for me.