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One of the things I find curious about our society is how exclusive we’ve become.  I don’t think it’s intentional; but nonetheless, very little is being done about it.  I think a part of that problem is that people do not notice how exclusive we really are.

Here’s an easy test to see if you are one of these people:

• Think of all of your friends that you see on a regular basis (less family members)
• What do you have in common?  Same school?  Same work place?
• What differences are there between you and everyone else?  Are these differences shared with anyone else in your group?
• Think of your closest friends
• What makes them so close?

And now the final test: Where do you find yourself making new friends?

Now before you make any wild assumptions, many people fall victim to this.  I know I do.  The majority of my friends are people with whom I go to church.   A small handful of them are people I work with.  But my closest friends are those who believe the same things I do and have fun in similar ways that I do.

Most of them are Christians, republicans, and are on facebook.

The question I find asking myself is why everyone does this.  Despite what people might think or say they behave, everyone chooses their friends and many of them are people with whom we have things in common.  It is rare that we have friends that are completely different.  In fact, this is something that we will notice!  If we have a friend that is friends with someone else who is completely different, we will ask, “Wow!  What do you guys have in common?!”

When friendships start, we don’t want to be “too different” because we don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.  We fear being ostracized because we grew up poor or because we don’t have the iPhone.  So we live on both sides of this fence.

I don’t know if it bothers you but I’m bothered by the fact that I’m so judgmental with people I just met.  If someone doesn’t believe what I do, I have instant dislike of them.  The likelihood of me being friends with them is so infinitesimal that I immediately dismiss it and don’t even think I could benefit.

Jesus was not like this.  In fact, he frequently and consistently talked with people who we would never want to even be associated with.  Jesus talking and having dinner with tax collectors and prostitutes is equivalent with Rosie O’Donnell having a romantic candle-lit dinner with James Dobson (President of the conservative group Christian ministry Focus on the Family).  If that image strikes you as odd, you can understand the confusion that this would have caused with others.
The sad reality of this is that the selection of friends is no different in the Christian world as it is for anyone else.  I would expect that the one place that things would be different would be Christendom.  While the ratio isn’t as bad, it’s still abysmal.  Many of my friends’ friends are similar.  The only differences tend to be jobs, socio-economic status, and race.

I think the reason is because we all want to be comfortable.  I know I would rather be with people who understand me, my politics, and my beliefs, than with someone who constantly disagrees with me.  That someone may be a perfectly nice person but I probably wouldn’t want to spend a lot of my time.

I often wonder if I would say the same thing about God.  If I think about it, the differences between me and God are vast!  We have absolutely nothing in common.  But something is to be said for him to be willing to put that all aside and still want to get to know my quirks and insecurities.

Honestly, I can’t think of the last time I did this.  And perhaps that the hardest lesson that I as a Christian have to face.  Am I willing to let everything fade and simply focus on the person?  Instead of being afraid of talking with the indigent, would I be willing to open myself up to them?

But what makes this so hard?  Perhaps something gets lost in the translation…