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Ross McGinnis graduated high school in 2005.  This Knox, Pennsylvania teenager enlisted in the Army, just before turning 18.  He wanted to serve his country and be sent to an unpopular war.  During his tour in Iraq, he would be involved in an intense firefight just months out of basic training.  Two years later, he would give his lives not for his country but for his friends and fellow soldiers.

The story unfolds on a routine patrol in Baghdad.  Himself along with four other soldiers were in a humvee when a grenade was thrown from a building.  Since Ross was on the rooftop machine gun, he was the only one to see it.

"GRENADE!!", he yelled.  As his fellow soldiers looked frantically for it, Ross got out of the gun turret and jumped down into the humvee.  He pressed his back against where the grenade landed.  His entire body absorbed the blast, saving the rest of his squad.

When Ross woke up that morning, he did not plan to sacrifice his life.  When he joined the Army, he he knew he would get into dangerous battles; but he never imagined himself actually dying.

Ross, like every other person, lived his life day by day, moment by moment.

His choice of self-sacrifice doesn’t make much sense.  Our instincts are to flee or fight danger.  In the animal kingdom, rarely does one see a creature give it’s life for the betterment of another.  What Ross did was make a choice to give his life, to end his life, so that others may live.

Why do stories like these inspire us with hope?  What is it about these stories that humble us?  Do you wonder if you would have made the same choice?  Do you put yourself in the same situation and go over the decision in your head?

The reality is the decision to give your life for something else is not planned nor is it calculated.  It is a split-second decision.  Ross didn’t learn it at basic training nor was he taught that in school.  I suspect that within that iota of a second, he recalled the sacrifice of others in his life.  I like to imagine that he realized that his choice was not about living or dying; it was about saving.  He knew someone was going to die.  He choice that person to be himself.

Why are stories like these rare?  Outside of these stories, the only self-sacrificing we see are in movies.

I would like to think I would have made the choice to sacrifice myself to save others.  I like to think that I could demonstrate what God has done for me and be willing to do it for others.  But the fact is that I should do this now: be willing to risk my life for others.  I don’t mean go into burning buildings.  No, I mean more willing to do something outside myself.  The truth is that I don’t want to.

We’d all like to be like Ross.  The truth is we’re faced with similar choices every day.  What choice do you make?

Recently, the Board of Education in Florida voted to allow alternative theories to evolution. Some have argued that these theories are no more than religion dressed up as science. “It opens the door to teaching theories of creationism and intelligent design in public schools. The critics say those theories belong in church and at home.”

Through the debate of creationism, critics have “discovered” a noodly god known only as the “Flying Spaghetti Monster™.” Bobby Henderson, a critic of intelligent design, created a fake religion to show just how foolish he thought creationism is. 

The reality is that he is right.

Most evangelical Christians have argued that the statistical probability for life to evolve is so astronomical, that creation screams of an intelligent maker. 

The reality is that they are right, too.

So where does this leave us? The same place we started.

Below the choppy waters of the debate, beneath the mine-filled battlefield, lies a deeper reality that critics on both sides refuse to address. It’s a reality that must be understood and taken into consideration when debating sciences verses religion. The odd thing is that both sides assume and make misinformed judgments based on their vague understanding of this reality, but few venture there.

That reality comes down to this question: What if they are right? 

Take those that are on the side of intelligent design and creationism. They wholeheartedly debate with fervor that this world, this universe, was created by a being of compassion. It was created for a purpose. That purpose is up for much debate but let’s assume this notion for a moment and continue with this thought experiment.

Now let’s assume that the evolutionists are right. What would happen to their beliefs? Would they doubt? Was Jesus just a man? Does God really exist or is he a product of man? 

Now, move over to the other side. Evolutionists debate that changes over long periods of time contribute to what we see in the world today. Every plant, animal, fungus, virus, and bacteria originated from a single organism. What that organism was is still up for much debate but let’s assume this notion for a moment.

Now assume that the creationists are right. Does God exist? Is there an eternal plan that I am a part of? If God does exist, do I have to know him? 

These questions speak to something very deep in our hearts. All of us, even the scientists, put their faith in a belief. (Evolutionists, stay with me for a minute!) At the end of the day, we don’t know what happened when the universe was formed. We have made very educated guesses. For example, it is pretty much accepted that there was a big bang. What that big bang created or caused it to explode is up for much debate. But at the end, no one knows for an absolute certainty.

Allow me to take this a step further. At the end of the day, does this question of creationism verses evolution really matter? I would submit that it doesn’t. 

One of the things that I’ve come to understand is that the questions we ask are rarely the questions we really want to ask. Confused? Let me explain: The question here is not about creation verses evolution. The question is not about religion verses science. The question is not even about education and the scientific method. The question pierces much deeper that this. The real question is about free will.

Every person struggles with the notion and idea of freedom. We want to be free. Many of us believe we are free. See, if a god doesn’t exist, then it doesn’t matter what we do. There would be no standards, except for the ones we agree to, and we would simply live life until we expire. 

But if a god does exist, all of the sudden, the question of morality, right and wrong, sin, and, more importantly, free will comes into question. Do we really have control over our lives? If so, how much? Are the choices I make really mine or are they influenced?

Can science and religion co-exist? Does it matter? 

All of us must decide what we believe. Can we be a product of accidents of coincidences or could there be a purpose?

So what is my answer? The honest truth is, “I don’t know. I don’t need to know.” I already made the decision that questions like creation and evolution are way beyond my understanding. What I’ve come to know is God. What I believe is that I am sinful. I do bad stuff all the time. Sometimes, I don’t like to talk to my parents because I just want to play video games. Sometimes, I look a little too long at a woman’s cleavage. Sometimes, I want to invest in companies that exploit children just so I can make more money. What I believe is that Jesus Christ, the son of God, came to earth to be like me. He played by his own rules and took the form of a man. Then, out of his own free will, Jesus died on the cross a sinless man to become sin and to free me from the bondage of lust, greed, and selfishness. 

To some Christians, they want to understand creation. I’m not one of them. Just like understanding how my car works wouldn’t help he to drive better, understanding the “science” of creation wouldn’t help me understand God. I hang my hat on what God has done for me in my life. That’s it.

And to me, that’s all that matters.

Not a day goes by when I read the news and am appalled by a verdict.  Many of us see corruption around us.  If you live in DC, it’s more rampant and is obscured by political double-talk and cover-ups.  “Enron”, “O.J. Simpson”, “Exxon”, “Martha Stewart”.  Thinking of any one of these companies or people brings up images of scandal, side deals, and injustice.

Look at the world around us.  Human trafficking has become one of the fastest growing crimes in the world, particularly because it is so difficult to track down the leader.  Children are kidnapped in the middle of the night and brainwashed to become drone soldiers to fight a war that predates even the kidnappers.

Everyday, murders go free because of legal technicalities.  Rapists continue to roam the streets, despite having been in jail for 10, 15, or even 20 years.

We look at this and we ask, “Is this justice?”

It’s easy, isn’t it?  To look from the outside, removed from the circumstances…

But I don’t think many of us realize that there is something inherently dangerous about justice.  It’s easy to see things from the victim’s point of view.  But how often do you consider the other side of the story?  Do we even care?

A couple of days ago, a news story broke about a man who was walking out of a supermarket after purchasing about $120 worth of groceries.  He was stopped at the door and asked to show his receipt.  Apparently, he had forgotten to pay for a 6-pack of soda that was at the bottom of the cart.  The police officer stopped the man and arrested him for petty theft.  $4.00 worth of soda.

I’ve actually done this before.  I was at Ikea and buying all sorts of cool stuff.  I forgot three items at the bottom of the cart.  I didn’t realize I didn’t pay for them until I got home.  The next day, I went back and told them that I didn’t pay for them.  They rang me up and that was the end of that.  No arrest.  In fact, they thanked me for being honest.  The total purchase was about $12.00.

There was instant outrage that this man was outraged.  The police station received numerous angry phone calls, demanding that the arresting officer be fired immediately.  “The police officer completely over-stepped his bounds.”  “What an asshole!”  “Store is evil!  Boycott!”

Twenty-four hours later, the police station, along with the supermarket, released the video footage that showed that he was actually trying to steal the soda.  He later admitted at the police station that he was attempting to shoplift.

The police station didn’t receive any calls of apology.  The store didn’t get a single e-mail afterward.

Many of us believe that we have a fair view of justice; in reality, it’s more twisted and biased than the world around us.

The idea of justice is embedded in every one of us.  Every one of us, at one point or another, have said, “That’s not fair!”  Every one of us has even asked for mercy when we did something wrong.

Are we any different than the world?  We demand justice for others, but mercy for ourselves.  We cry, “Save Darfur” but then do nothing about it.

C. S. Lewis, on of the greatest philosophers of the 20th century, wrote that it is because of this idea of Justice God must exist.  There must exist a greater Judge who sees the pain and torture of this world and expels fair judgment.

It’s much easier to say that we know better than to admit we were wrong.  It’s much more convenient to blame someone else instead of taking the fall.

The point of justice is not to be fair.  Please read this again.  The point of justice is not to be fair. 

The point of justice is to restore peace.  The point of the Cross was not about paying for man’s sins.  The point was to bridge the rift that separated us from God.  The point of sending a murder to jail is not about bringing fairness to his victim.  It’s about bringing closer to the family.

Asking why justice is so unfair is like asking why other people make more money than I do.  This concept of unfairness opens us up to questions that many of us are afraid to answer.  If I was the murder, would I want to go to jail for life?  If stole the soda, would I try to just pay the merchant back?

We need justice in our lives.  God’s justice is perfect.  Not only does he restore peace, but he does it fairly.  No one in heaven will say, “Wow, that guy got hosed.  Man, he just got creamed.  He got what he deserved.”  Instead, I think most people will say, “Wow, what kind of God could forgive a person like that?  What kind of God could forgive a person like me?”

First a note of apology: March has been a difficult and busy month. I hoped to write another Crosswords article on March 16th but I couldn’t get it finished. My life is back to some sort of order. I’ll hopefully continue to churn these articles out twice a month. Please feel free to leave some feedback. It would be MUCH appreciated!

Now that I’ve been working for the government for almost a year, I’ve learned quite a lot about the political process. The biggest lesson: things run very slowly. It’s a lot of "hurry up and wait." Another thing I learned is "bureaucracy is here because someone needs a job." But one of the most important things I’ve learned is, "It’s always better to seek forgiveness than it is to ask for permission."

I think is a saying that many people use; but it’s an axiom here in the Pentagon. A few weeks ago, I found out that it is actually illegal to install Firefox on my desktop. Yes, illegal. So I submitted a request to have it installed legally. After about two weeks, it finally got approved.

Because of all the bureaucracy and the red tape, sometimes it’s just a lot easier to just do what you need to do and then ask for forgiveness later. But I had to ask myself if I was doing this because I just wanted something or because it was for the mission. Also, how did this reflect my views on God?

One of my favorite Simpsons episodes is when Bart becomes a faith healer.  With the help of Brother Faith, he successfully pulled off a metal bucket that was glued on Homer’s head.  He asks Brother Faith how he was able to get the bucket off.

Faith: Well, I didn’t, son. You did. God gave you the power.
Bart: Really? Huh. I would think that He would want to limit my power.
Faith: Oh, yes, Lord. When I was your age, I was a hell-raiser, too. My slingshot was my cross. But I saw the light, and changed my wicked ways.
Bart: I think I’ll go for the life of sin, followed by a presto- change-o deathbed repentance.
Faith: Wow, that’s a good angle. [pause] But that’s not God’s angle. Why not spend your life helping people instead. Then you’re also covered in case of sudden death.
Bart: Full coverage? Hmmm

I think what Bart says hits the core of every heart.  Just do whatever you want and then ask for forgiveness on your deathbed.  But I wonder if it’s really that simple.

One of the foundations of the Christian faith is that once you ask God for forgiveness, all your sins — past, present, future — all become null and void.  They are done and the punishment was paid.  And if this is true, then why not ask God for forgiveness and then do whatever you want?  You can, in a sense, have a cake and eat it too.

I think one of the things that trips people up about the Christian faith is the idea that they live a very restrictive life.  All of the sudden, anything that used to be fun is now "frowned upon."  No sex or rock and roll.  That’s what it means to be a Christian, right?  So a life of doing whatever you want and then asking for forgivness is a way of beating the system.

Believe it or not, this is exactly right.  Yes, you can become "saved" and then continue living the life you always had.  Knowing that you have "fire insurance", you can go back to enjoying life!  You no longer have to fear death because you know you’re going to heaven!  So bring on the sex and rock and roll!

What we don’t realize is that there is something so dangerous about this idea.  It is this very thought that shows just how much we need God in our lives.  What we say, in essence, is that we want everything with none of the responsibility.  Yes, we want heaven, but we want everything here too.  I want to be a "Christian" but don’t want to become "lame."

There aren’t very many relationships that can be summarized in this way.  And yet, this is how many of us, including myself, see God.

Grace and mercy are often confused.  The idea of mercy is simple: we don’t get something that we deserve.  When you get a ticket, you hope that the judge will give you mercy and not punish you.  Grace is also simple: getting something you don’t deserve.  Using the same analogy, the judge decides not to fine you (mercy) but then decides to give you $50 for each ticket you’ve had (grace).

With God, he gives mercy to those who ask for it.  But, who also gives grace to us when we don’t.  So what does this have to do with doing whatever we want?

Everything.

We can never out-sin God’s mercy and we can never "run out" of forgiveness.  But here’s what we miss out on: relationship.  The whole point of the Gospel is not about getting into heaven.  (There are Christians out there right now wondering how this can be true.  Bear with me.)  Read that again: the crux of the Gospel, the main goal of the Gospel is NOT heaven or salvation.

The goal is much simpler.  The goal is relationship.  Without grace and mercy, we could not be in communion with God.  Sin separates us.  Once sin is out of the picture, we can now be in the presence of God and see him for who he is.  It is within this presence that we have the opportunity to experience God in ways that we never would have thought or imagined.

So yes, you can keep doing whatever you want after you become a Christian.  And I believe God realizes that you can do whatever you want.  But I think he does it on purpose.  I think he does it so you have to wonder why he would forgive you in the first place.   Why would he go through all the trouble?

Here’s the funny thing: when someone does anything nice for us, we get suspicious.  We ask ourselves, "Okay, why is this person being nice?"  And I think this is what God hopes for.  Do people take advantage of him?  Well, I wonder if the better question is, "Are you really taking advantage of someone when they are allowing you?"

Due to some personal issues, I’ll be skipping today’s release of Crosswords.

Sorry, but things in my life are a little busy. 

Countries fight for it.  People are willing to die for it.

Freedom is the fundamental right that’s been given to us by God.  It is the freedom to choose.  Freedom, however, is thrown around these days, with many preconceived notions that are often misunderstood or sometimes outright inaccurate.

The world’s definition of freedom is the ability and choice to do whatever one desires.  Take freedom of speech: you can say whatever you want, whenever you want.  But many people think that God’s freedom is less than this.  The truth is far more complex than the word lets on.

The Declaration of Independence proudly states:

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

The freedom that we call hold dear is said to have been endowed by our Creator and are unalienable.  But today, I think many people have a very limited view of what freedom really means.  The writers of the Declaration of Independence knew how important these rights and freedoms are…to the point that they should right them down.  But today, their writings have come under intense scrutiny, with many courts deciding how they should be interpreted.  But perhaps the freedom that God has promised is much more similar than what we’ve made it to be.

When I was a college student, I had a horrible time managing my money.  I was up to my eyeballs in debt.  I wasn’t making much money, but I wanted to buy lots of stuff.  That’s when a friend taught me how to budget my money.  Honestly, it was incredibly frustrating.  I felt like I couldn’t buy what I wanted anymore because I could only spend inside my budget.  But to accomplish this, I had to keep track of every penny I spent.  But after about 6 months, My attitude began to shift from frustration to liberation.  I no longer felt like I was being restricted.  It was actually the opposite.  I felt free!

It may sound confusing because you would think restrictions on how I spent my money would have felt, well, restricting.  Isn’t the very definition of freedom to do whatever you want?

This is where I began to understand God’s definition of freedom.  See, I didn’t feel free to because I was restricted in my finances.  I felt free because I no longer spent wildly without caring about my bills.  I controlled my spending, instead of the other way around.  I now know exactly how much money I can spend and if I can afford something I want.  No longer was I going further into debt.  I was, and still am, making my way out.

This kind of freedom has allowed me to purchase a house!  It has allowed me to spend more money because I’m not buying stupid stuff.  It doesn’t feel confining like it used to.

This freedom is the freedom that God wants for ALL of us.  I think many of us look at the Bible and see it as a way to just stop all of us from having fun; the reality is that Bible offers a freedom that one only experiences once you go all-in.  I wouldn’t have learned how to save money if I only tried out budgeting for a week.  I wouldn’t have learned why sex before marriage is damaging to future relationships.  I wouldn’t have learned why being a Christian doesn’t stop you from enjoying life.  Being a Christian, living a God-filled life, compels you to live life to the fullest because you know where the lines are.  It’s not about getting as close to the line as possible without crossing it.  Friends, that’s legalism.  I’m talking about just going forward and seeing what God has to offer beyond the confines of the Bible, to live in the world without being "super-spiritual".

All of the sudden, freedom isn’t about doing whatever you want.  No.  Freedom is about know what you can do and doing it with all abandon.  This is the freedom I know.

Do you know it?

Choice is one of the greatest gifts that God has given man.  This gift is seemingly simple; but upon study, it’s wonderfully complex.  Many philosophers have studied the concept of choice and there is still much debate as to what it means.

Choices can be as simple as going to school or picking out which soup to eat.  They can be complex: deciding on which house to buy, whether you’re ready for marriage, moving to a new area.  The constant between all choices is that we have the freedom to choose.

This freedom carries responsibilities.  Consequences follow our choices…quite frankly, that’s why we make choices: for the consequences.  But anyone that’s made a major decision knows that sometimes these consequences are not noticed until much, much later.

I think this is so with God.

Consider the converse of choice.  Most people would say that the opposite of choice is "pre-destination."  This is a "churchy" word that I’m not discussing here.  I think the converse of choice is predictable programming.

Predictable programming means that given certain conditions, you would react in a predefined manner.  Nothing would be different.  Your reaction to the stimulus would be no different from any other reaction you’ve had before.  No knowledge is acquired in this mindset.  Believe it or not, many parts of our core behavior is "programmed."  Fear is a programmed response to a stimulus.  The situations may change but the feeling of fear does not change.

So, when choice is inserted into the equation, everything changes.  You may choose to heed your fear and retreat to safety.  Or you may choose to accept your fear and continue into whatever you were doing.

Even in this simple thought experiment, we see the power that choice has.  We must realize, though, that life isn’t just a simple equation.  Many factors influence our choices.  But the amazing thing is that the beauty of choice doesn’t get experienced until it comes to love.

Imagine for a moment that you were with someone you love.  Now imagine that you two had a terrible fight.  This fight causes you to reconsider the relationship.  Now, let’s strip away your choice of leaving and instead you are programmed to continue to be in this relationship.  When I think about romance, I don’t think about it being "forced".  In fact, I think of the opposite: this person could have chosen anyone else, but has chosen me.

And isn’t this what we want?  I know I would never want someone to be with me because she felt like there was no other option.  I would want her to be with me because she wants to be with me…she chooses to be with me.  Marriage is the greatest covenant because of this.  Marriage says that if given the choice to do it all over again, I would still choose my wife.  And I would always choose my wife…every time.

This is love.  Just like how love could not exist with trust, love cannot exist without choice.  Intimacy requires me to love my wife, no matter what she says or does.  And I must be willing to be vulnerable enough to have her make the same choice.  I must be willing to be hurt.  I must be willing to be vulnerable to the point of humiliation.  It’s this vulnerability is what has killed love and marriage today.  Many of us are so afraid of this kind of love…knowing that our partner can reject us at any moment…that we are afraid to pursue it.

The more I learn about marriage, the more I learn about the heart of God.  I wonder what went through his mind as he blessed us with the ability to reject him.  I wonder how he felt when he knowingly "programmed" his people to not love him back.  See, this becomes much more complex when you put the Creator in the equation.  And I think God knows the feeling of rejection more than anyone.  He gives everyone the choice to either love him or ignore him.  He gives everyone the choice to do good or to do evil.  He has given this choice.

I always think, "What does this say about God?"  Does it say that he’s so proud that he doesn’t need love?  That can’t be true because giving us the choice to love him says something different.

Well, perhaps God knew we wouldn’t do anything bad.  Well, if that was the case, there really wouldn’t be much "choice".

I think what this boils down to is the fact that God can plan out the world…our choices cannot limit or hinder him.  Our choices only hinder us.  You see, if choice didn’t matter, then all of this would be for nothing.  But when given the option to do good, to believe in him…when given the chance to be a part of something extraordinary…we get to see life in the way he intended it.  If we don’t, well, we don’t experience anything.

I think God realized these things.  Choice has much to do with love as trust does.

We’re all given the choice to love God or hate him.  We’re given that choice everyday, every moment in our life.  And perhaps, that’s the greatest gift of all: the choice to ignore the very being that gave us the gift.

Last week, I posted my first "Crosswords" essay.  I’m wondering: what did you think?  Should I keep going?  What did you like about it?  What would have been better?

I’m working on my next essay: God’s greatest gift: Choice.

Please leave a comment!

I used to think that ‘love’ was a word invented by Hallmark to help sell cards.  Really, I did.

We all have different ideas of what love really is.  How we define love defines the very nature of our relationships.  This inherently makes every relationship unique.  I realize that this may be stating the obvious, but it seems it must be stated.  Love is something we all want.  The odd thing about it is that it can be quantified.  Not by numbers, mind you, but by actions.  How often do you hear, "You must not love me because…"  There seems to be some idealization that we have about love and this, too, is different between each person.

Although love is unique, there seem to be common elements that bring the word its definition.  At the core, I think it would be safe to say love requires trust.  Maybe ‘requires’ is too strong of a word, but I don’t think you can love someone without it.  In fact, it seems that love is gone when there is no trust.

And herein lies the problem: how do we trust without getting hurt?

My short-lived life as a missionary taught me many things about trust.  Trust cannot be purchased nor can it be freely given away.  Trust, it seems, is a commodity that must be earned.  And once it is earned, trust compounds, allowing each person to change their behavior.

But many of us, myself included, have had that trust broken.  Or even worse: it was abused, leaving you wondering why you trusted this person to begin with.

Because of this reality, I think we end up wanting love more than we are willing to give it.  That is a disappointing thought, isn’t it?  A twisted reality that is our lives all of the sudden changed because of someone that hurt us.  The ability and the desire to be vulnerable — to trust — has shrunk.  And it has left us wondering what true love really is.

I think the most impressive thing is that this happens to God on a daily basis.  A being of infinate power and love who actually wants to have a relationship with you and me.  I think it is this love that allows him and compells him to wait for us to come to him.  Many people ignore him or hate him because of what he had done before or what he didn’t do.  But many of these same people don’t really know him in the same way that we would want to be known.

How can love exist without chance of being betrayed?  It is only when we become vulnerable, willing to admit our own limitations that we can experience the love that was meant to be.  So many of us have never felt unconditional love…a love that comes no matter what you do, say, or believe.  I even dare say that we have become warped and expect love to be this way.  But the hurt and pain we feel says otherwise.  The fact that we mourn a break in trust shows that we were meant for something more…something more eternal.

In the imperfection of our experiences, we experience what love was meant to be.  Something that we can hold on to, have faith in, and trust.  This love, oddly enough, is not built; it’s merely experienced.  But it’s experience hinges on our ability to believe in something better, our ability to trust in something far more eternal.

If only love were as simple as a holiday greeting card, it wouldn’t be this complicated.  But me thinks that it’s complexity is what makes it worthwhile.