Linus Soh

So it’s been a long week since I’ve posted…here’s the latest scoop from my neck of the woods…

MRI

I’m getting an MRI done next Monday. I’ve been diagnosed Cubital Tunnel Syndrome and the docs want to see how bad it is. I’m afraid I’ll need surgery.

Support Raising

My support raising has slowed down slightly, but I’ve had some recent boosts which has been good. I haven’t raised enough support to even cover my basic living expenses (e.g. food, rent, utilities, etc.). I’m hoping by the end of November I’ll break even. It’s purely God’s grace that I’m still able to eat food.

Debt

I’m trying not to go into debt while support raising, which is incredibly hard since I can barely afford food. I’m trying to hold out and eating my savings in the mean time.

Sleep (or lack thereof)

I’ve been so stressed lately that I have not been sleeping well, which, in it of itself, has caused major problems throughout the day. I’m grinding my teeth, having unusual cravings, and my emotional energy has gotten really low.

Emotional Trauma

There is just so much going on right now, that I can’t emotionally keep up. I’m having large mood swings, which is really hard when I’m constantly going from one thing to another. And it doesn’t help that people are just dropping like flies out there.

Church Presentation

I have a very big church presentation on Sunday…which is the big stresser right now….

So, with all that said, where does that leave this post? Well, I need a lot of prayer. I can’t believe how much has happened in the last DAY let alone this week. Please pray that God will give me peace about everything. I really want to believe that God is sovereign…and that he sees the things I can’t see. And that he is still here, with me, crying with me, let me know that everything is okay.

I really just need a vacation.

My suggestion for improving tag support is being worked on!! That’s so cool!!!

Look for it at a client near you!

Now that I’m feeling better, I spent 10 hours today working on all the back-logged paperwork I had to do. 10 friggin’ hours! Man, I really hate it…but, the good news is that it’s all done.

I also worked a little more on my web site. I figured out how to do this really cool thing with CSS. If you go to my web site and look for links that go outside the site, a cool icon should show up. It’s the “external link” icon from wikipedia. I’ll soon be embedding new CSS stuff as time goes on…I didn’t realize how cool I could make it.

well, I’m going to bread now…good night all!

so I’m still sick.

And it’s worse. I went to the doctors today and turns out that I got a sinus infection. Which sucks because it makes me really dizzy.

So in the last week, I’ve spent more hours watching TV than I have since I’ve graduated. It’s quite sad, really.

I’ve been too dizzy, until about today, to do any sort of computer work.

So, in the world of doing absolutely nothing, I stumbled upon one of the greatest links in all of the Internet:
http://exploration.grc.nasa.gov/balloon/blob.htm

Check it out…

Dear Jen,

When I first heard about your divorce, I was quite shocked. I thought you and Brad were perfect for each other. I’ve never been married, but I know that it can’t be easy and I’m sure you feel hurt and betrayed.

Just know, that there’s a nice guy in Maryland if you ever want to chat. Feel free to give me a call or shot me an e-mail. I’ll be there for you…

I’m feeling silly now that I’m feeling better…:-)

So I have the full-on cold now. What I’ve been doing all day is trying to work, and getting too frustrated that I can’t think straight…

So I’ve been watching TV and playing mind-numbing video games. What’s worse is that I cancelled my appointments for tomorrow. It’s quite depressing. I really need to raise support…

So today, I’ve done a lot of praying. And I don’t know why but I just don’t have any peace in my heart. One of my roommates is about to get married this Saturday. So much is changing…it makes me ask the question, “Why aren’t I feeling okay about it?”

I don’t think it’s related to one specific thing. I think, overall, I’m just really stressed. I really need to relax…and yet I demand my body to continue to function.

It’s not that easy…

I really like this song by Caedmon’s Call:

♫Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I’m feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they’re so mysterious

And like a consumer I’ve been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith
Then I’d be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I’ve begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I’ve seen so much
I explained it away

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It’d been there all the time

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace…♫

Lord, I want more of you
Living water rain down on me
Lord, I need more of you
Living breath of life come fill me up…

Being sick.

It sucks. I hate that feeling right before I get sick, when my throat gets all scratchy and yucky. Oh and you know the worst part? When you get sick and all delirious and all you can do is blog stupidly about it.

Because it sucks.

All of you that had this cold and decided to share…Thank you.

MOUNDS, AND MOUNDS, AND MOUNDS OF PAPERWORK!

I hate it all. I do. I really do.

I can’t stand it. It’s the necessary evil in the world but I hate it.

I just spent the last two-ish hours doing paperwork straight through. On the plus side, I did listen to all my back-logged Adventures in Odyssey while doing it all…

So, now, I’m taking a mental health break to catch all 2 of you up on what’s going on in my world.

I went to the doctors a couple of days ago. A few weeks ago, I went to an orthopedic surgeon to take a look at my wrists. With all the typing I’m doing now (and blogging about it is probably not helping it), I think it’s aggravated my carpel tunnel. But apparently, I don’t have carpel tunnel. I have cubital tunnel.

He thinks I may need surgery, depending on how extensive the nerve is damaged, but the only way to find out is by doing a $500 test.

I don’t got no $500.

So I prayed and asked God, “What da dilly, yo?” (Okay, not really, but you get the idea.) And Jeff actually thought that the pain may be related to a study I did with the NIH. So, upon asking them, they referred me to their doctors and they are going to do the test for free.

How about that? (Isn’t that something?!)

So, I’m going in again next Thursday morning to do this really uncomfortable test. In the mean time, they have me wearing this really uncomfortable elbow brace. It hurts more than it helps.

I would appreciate much prayer in this area. Seeing that the surgery would be very time intensive and would probably knock me out from raising support for at least a week.

In other news,

I’m re-doing parts of my web site because it’s klucky and I’m tired of seeing the errors on my reports. So, things will probably break from time-to-time. If it does, let me know. I’m also going to be working on a website for my ministry partners. The page isn’t quite working right. I think it has something to do with the DNS entries. But you can check out the prototype page. You should be able to get to it by pointing your browser to http://donor.mikesoh.com…but it doesn’t work right for some reason.

Oh, you know, I almost forgot the best compliment I got this week. Yeah, this week!

Nadine and I will be going shopping at L.L. Bean this Saturday. I’m pretty excited about it. So I call to confirm and she tells me that her and her fellow mafia ladies decreed that I am going to make some woman a wonderful husband. I was quite speechless. I was flattered, of course, but really began to think about it this week. And I came to the conclusion that I think it’s because of the women of MCF deserve the best. Women in general deserve to be treated with honor and respect. And I thank them for helping me the man of integrity that I am today.

You all deserve this more than anyone else:

My September 2005 prayer letter is out and will be mailing out tomorrow. But for those of you can’t wait, it’s available on my website.

I’ve also been thinking about doing a weekly blogcast. It’s similar to a podcast® except blogcast is not a registered trademark.

So what do you think?

You remember the days running cargo between New Detroit and Troy? Getting that bounty on that pirate that just destroyed one of your wingmen?

Yeah…so I did a quick search on Wing Commander Privateer and one of the results was this awesome Wing Commander: Privateer remake web site. Getting permission from Orion (I believe), they totally remade the game in three flavors (including a linux version!!).

I started playing it…and oh man…took me back to the days that I would run home from school just to play the game…

The graphics are horrible and now that I don’t have a joystick, it’s kinda hard to steer the ship…

but man, oh man…does it take me back…